There is still enough light in the sunroom to see my keyboard. Grey is the color, inside and out. It’s the kind of grey that changes in intensity, but never in color. The sky only lightens and darkens in extremes quickly as a fast moving spring lightening and thunder storm passes by at the same time dusk approaches.
The dark green grass and bright green budding leaves on the trees provide the only contrast to the grey. The cats have run scared and taken cover in the upstairs bedroom not having heard thunder on a consistent basis for some time. The rare sound of a low-flying jet breaks the quiet between thunders — it likely has been told to fly below the storm on a longer approach to an airport far away.
And my mind has been still lately.
My mind has been still from taking a break from the world politics, still from worry about things I cannot control, still from worry about what the next half of the spring and upcoming summer hold at work or anywhere. Still from doubting myself and especially still from doubting others. Still from politics or wasted television time and definitely still from the bad vibes of others that try to pull each of us down if we let them.
There are times when The Vinman gets into a zone and becomes still inside and out. It’s a strange zone…..not too quiet, not careless or irresponsible…just a time when everything is all right. Not too hard, not too easy. Almost as if on one hand it is the most desirable zone and at the same time foreboding that there will certainly be new changes to come.
These are the times when I slow down on the blogging, not feeling that I have much to say but wishing all my friends could experience this with me……..Writing just doesn’t seem as pressing, not a chore, just not pressing. After all, don’t I tell myself I write for the enjoyment of it? I might not write now for days unless something really moves me. A break, if you will to recharge the soul by embracing its stillness.
Maybe it’s something seasonal. Maybe it’s a global karma thing….I truly believe we’re all a lot more “linked’ than we will ever know in this time. I think about people and wonder how they are doing on their journey…..I imagine fine comfortable candle-lit dinners with them to catch up or just hang out.
And down the street a man parks his white Jeep and turns off the headlights and engine for the night and takes his briefcase into his home….a light in his kitchen comes on. The grey darkens by the minute now…I can still see my keyboard, but not by much. Birds are singing their good night songs to any potential mates they have not called to nest with yet.
The light, long-rolling thunder rolls on….as if it has passed for the time being but sounds like it promises to return tonight for another interlude after the intermission. And it will find me not in my tuxedo but in comfortable flannel pajama bottoms laying awake just listening and trying to hold onto the stillness I cherish so much when it comes. Who knows how long it will last?
Tomorrow may bring a vibe change.
But for now, that’s the vibe on the last Tuesday night in April…rolling with the thunder, the changes and the challenges. Rolling along out of April and into May. Rolling from the light of the day into the dusky grey now lit by a streetlamp across the dirt road hung off my neighbor’s garage.
The Vibe: Blown on the winds of spring and Tuesday……..showing me the way to tomorrow. May you find stillness as your guide when you can…….you will know it when it comes.