UNDER THE EAVES……….

(c) Copyright Vincent J. Kern — 2003

All Rights reserved

Things I found while cleaning out the eves for the first time in eight years………………

>> It’s easier to start with throwing away ALL old clothes in any closet so you have a place to store the crap you are going to need to pull out from under the eves so you can get in.

>> The cat had made a nice little bed out of cardboard boxes and wandered back there, sat down and looked at me with that “this is MY spot, Pal!” look.

>> An old blue Samsonite makeup case that contained dolls my late father-in-law brought his grade-school daughter upon returning from service in Vietnam. It also held her baby rattle, a small gold ring with the Vietnameese flag logo, her wisdom teeth ad a box of matchsticks in a replica Marlboro cigarette box.

>> A large box of The Vinman’s special cowboy clothes he bought in Lakeside, California prior to attending the Riders in the Sky concert and a Western gals for the newspapers. EEE Haw!

>> My old yellow bike racing jersey I wore 12 years ago while doing 50-mile races in the mountains of California and Mexico. It doesn’t fit anymore!

>> There’s a helluva lot more room “in there” after organizing it than you’d think!

>> That “room” will soon be filled with more stuff.

It took all of about a full day of labor, but The Vinman scored big on the home chores this weekend. The Shewoman (as in Sheila the lovely wife) decided that on our “recovery” day upon returning home from our two-week vacation we needed to purchase a leather couch, a coffee table and two new end tables.

They were the “find of a lifetime” and since my find of a lifetime has a birthday coming up (one of the “biggies”) I could not hold back the tides of female shopping estrogen.

The deal was she would have to be home to receive delivery and she was. But that prompted the 1) Disassembling of a futon so that the old couch could be moved there and the storing of the pieces of said futon somewhere. 2) The storing of the old coffee table and end tables. 3) The need to find space in the eaves to accommodate the “stuff” that accumulates over the years. 4) The tossing of other “stuff” that HAD to be saved for future use.

The only future use ever had for all the stuff the Shewoman saves is the exercise The Vinman gets by tossing it out or moving it to another place to stay until The Vinman throws it out.

So, The Vinman also threw out a lot of stuff this weekend.

I think the most tugging question on my mind right now is: What the hell is so fascinating about wicker gift baskets that they require permanent storage. I counted no less than a dozen around the house in my weekend travails. It’s as if they are some presidential memento or gift from some foreign ambassador that will eventually be in a presidential library after his/her term in office.

I can hear it now, “Honey, what ever happened to all those wicker gift baskets we got over the years? I really want to line the shelves of our (retirement) mobile home. Gee Honey (emphasis retracted), I WISH you would have saved those like I wanted!”

Well, the job is done. The futon pieces are neatly stored in another “eaves” spot in the garage. The futon mattress is back in our walk-in closet off the bedroom folded up like a giant uruly cotton taco behind Shewoman’d clothes rack. The stuff from under the eaves that needed top be tossed is.

And of course, I had to make a new and better bed for Dudley the drug-rehabbing cat (it’s a lifelong struggle for him, you know). It’s base is a couple of good cardboard boxes lines with some old blankets that otherwise would have been tossed and it’s strategically places way in the back of the eves behind boxes so he thinks he’s in his own kitty universe.

Damn cat’s been in it all day, too!

Now it’s back to the rest of Sunday afternoon. Finishing up the laundry, having a bite of dinner and perhaps some more writing before bedtime.

Monday, Sept. 22 means back into the gym and my training regimen.

Too bad cleaning the eaves doesn’t count.

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